December 28, 2006

An Arab Woman Blues

When I hear a piece of news , a verdict, or a story that touches me deeply , I freeze.
I usually can't comment on it straight away nor gather my thoughts and feelings in any coherent form. It takes me time to distill , digest and absorb.
I am not a journalist , I cannot report "things". Reporting takes a certain detachment and when it comes to Iraq , am not detached . I am very attached. Terribly attached.
Such piece of news reached me yesterday . That of your Execution.
I will address you as Saddam Hussein, Sir.
Even though I still consider you to be the legitimate President of Iraq, allow me not to use any formalities here. Let us forget titles , ranks and the rest .
When it comes to Death , all protocols fall. Death has this even power - We are all equal in the face of it. Death knows no kings, no heads of state, no generals. It strikes and it leaves. And you know that too.
What remains though is the Legacy left behind. A Legacy made of words and acts.
When I compare for instance Your Legacy to that of george bush the american , I see that :
You have remained true to your word until your last breath.
I don't care what they say about You . The misuses and abuses of power, the Dujails, the Anfals and the rest of the well knitted pieces of grossly exaggerated melodramas. I know one Truth Sir,You stayed in Iraq and did not run away like the rest. You did not seek asylum in the USA , Egypt or Jordan like others. You did not pack your bags nor your millions. You stayed and that is what matters to me.
Forgive me Sir, I am not a very sophisticated woman. I speak a simple language , the language of the heart. No one hardly ever recognizes this dialect these days. But I have a feeling, that despite all your alleged hardness, You would.
You know, my Dad before passing away said to me a few sentences that have remained with me since. He said : My Daughter, many things will come to pass in this life. You will face many trials and many errors. One thing you need to be certain of though, don't ever loose your integrity nor your dignity. The day you SELL those, you would have sold your soul. And all is downhill from there.
Sir, I am proud that you have not sold neither.
In that you have helped us preserve our "own" intact.
As for the rest , don't worry about them. They will end up in the dustbins of history. They will end up cited as thugs, profiteering, sectarian, opportunistic, hypocrites. I feel sorry to say that about the people you believe in . But that is the Truth.
Sir, take an example . Even your so called tribunal is made of an ex accountant, turned waiter turned thief. This is no verdict , this is a circus, a zoo . And they are the animals.
What pains me most is that they succeeded in massacring yet another TRUE IRAQI.
A true Iraqi amongst many thousands. And this is what You are .
Granted, you had your downsides , your shadow. But it pales in comparison to what the "Land of the Free " is doing to us. Your shadow is like a ray of sunlight, Sir.
A friend who is not an Iraqi, nor an Arab , nor a Muslim wrote to me . She said :
" I feel a pit in my stomach that will not go away. My sister cried upon hearing the verdict. How dare they ? What is this collective punishment by the White Man? I will not stay quiet..."
Another wrote a poem in your honor and she is from England .
And others wrote some more .
Even Iraqis who left the country and had known the coldness of exile , wrote denouncing ...

I am aware that words serve nothing now. But just to let you know that you are not alone.

Sir, If you allow me, try to imagine this. Try to imagine barbaric hordes coming from across oceans . Try to imagine herds of indoctrinated sheep from across borders dressed in black . Try to imagine every single scum bag in the land that you so eloquently praise, rising up and ganging up against you. What does that makeYou ? It makes you a Hero Sir. Yes it does.
If all those armies , sectarians and sellout vermins conspired against You it is because You have stayed True to something. And darkness hates the Truth.
They say you were authoritarian and totalitarian. Come and see them now.
See their Fascism infesting the streets. See it in every neighborhood, see it in every corner .
You said Women are the Pioneers of this Arab Ummah , come and look at us now.
Rape has replaced sexual intercourse, censorship replaced education and forced domestication has replaced public life.
You said Education is the sign of a Progressive Ummah. Our schools and universities are empty.And our Brains drained and killed.
You said Health is Free for all. Our hospitals are dilapidated and our doctors in exode.
You said Kurds are our brothers, they are now being trained as snipers by Israel.
You said Christians and Muslims are part of this mosaic called Iraq. The Christians are fleeing by thousands and the churches are deserted.
Look at me Sir. I am a product of this wonderful mosaic called Iraq. I am half Muslim and half Christian. And the Muslim half has Shi'as and if you dig hard enough you will find
Kurdish, Armenian, Turkish, Chaldean, Arabic roots all the way back...
Where is my place now Sir ?
You are about to find your place soon. Like a bird flying to nest into the arms of the Sky.
Whilst, I am left behind waiting for my turn. And in the meantime, searching , desperately searching for a place to rest my tired head and finding none.
Sir, I heard they will execute You within 36 hours. In time for the Eid. Our sacrificial feast.
You did say you are willing to be sacrificed for Iraq . You still believe they are worth it .
I envy your Faith.
May you go in Peace now, my True Iraqi

Painting :Iraqi Artist, Dr Ala'a Al Bashir.