November 12, 2006

Mr. President,

Now that a thumping smack has been delivered by American voters to the backside of the Empire building hallucinations of your sponsors, leaving you presidential future effectively bowdlerized, you are well advised to start learning to say 'please’ to lessen the pain of the remaining two years.

Learn to say Please Mr. President because with a whole bunch of Repub-mangled Congressmen let loose upon the Capitol Hill, your interaction with the Dem-dominated Congress will tend to be complicated and emotionally draining exercise for you. The 'please’ word will act like a balm to the political sores that you are likely to get from the chafing.

Learn to say Please Mr. President because control tactics such as threatening, shaming, or fear mongering will not get you what you want from now onward. What is more, regular use of words like 'please and 'thank you’ might just numb the sting of being a political outcast and a sitting President.

Learn to say Please Mr. President while giving directions, making requests, or asking questions of this new Congress. Also, while you are at it, learn not to scowl, shake your finger and glare at the new house. That tends to have a goading effect on the addressees and that is not exactly what you want.

Learn to say Please Mr. President while we the world watch the Democrats who also had a congressional majority during the Vietnam war and whose 2004 presidential hopeful John Kerry made a big deal of his Vietnam exploits and to whose intransigence a large portion of the million plus Vietnamese death toll can safely be attributed and who are still struggling to shrug off that defeatist label and in doing that fielded not only Jim Webb, a Vietnam veteran, for the Virginia senate seat but also a dozen more war heroes around the country.

Learn to say Please Mr. President while we now watch the Democrats who until now have been hurling criticism from the safety of the sidelines while your Repub infested House was cheering you on in your world bashing in general and the Iraq genocide in particular. Not only that, while you are busy learning your act, we will also watch them deliver on issues such as the Israel-Palestine conflict, Iran and global warming. But leave that to us Mr. President, you just learn to say please.

Learn to say Please Mr. President but it won’t hurt if you also learn to show respectful behavior toward your detractors, giving polite responses, avoiding overreacting, expecting disagreements and not having dinner with shady characters of the Karl Rove kind.

Learn to say Please Mr. President and try to display deference to other world leaders. Although we understand that respect is an attitude and it is kind of late for you to let it grow on you, but only thus can you have some coming your way and God knows you need it more than any other single thing now that you are in a political swamp of your own making. All the while keep in mind the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Learn to say Please Mr. President and try to discard the old habit of lying through your teeth from now on. Stop focusing just on your needs, making negative assumptions about others, jumping to conclusions, exerting control over others against their will, blaming others for problems and events, delivering personal insults to other world leaders etc. etc. Try some thing new like being honest, being positive, being trusting, being fair, being reliable, obeying laws of the land, being caring, and avoiding poor role models. You will find a whole new world of opportunities waiting for you if you adopt just some of what is being recommended.

Learn to say Please Mr. President but most important of all, tell your Neocon masters to now lay off for a while, what with their still born vision roller coastering down toward the murky depths of eternal doom. Point out your old concentration span limitation and the new circumstances and ask to be tasked for only one thing at a time from now on. Tell them that in these remaining two years of your ignoble presidency, whenever they want to give you new instructions, they should call your name, allow time for you to turn your attention towards them, wait for an eye contact, then give you new instructions, order you about or whatever else. More than that and you are bust, tell them that.

Have a great day Mr. President and learn to say please.

Yours Truly,
Anwaar Hussain